Musings #1 / by Ailsa Fineron

I love making playlists. For friends, for me, for moods, for times.
Currently the playlists I have are:

Always Alright
Baby loves me
Busy being free
Do you realise??
Fuck everything it’s okay
Girls etc
God help the girl
So easy
they’d call you an adult in america
to make videos for
Top 10

After these years in my head, I’ve found that usually it’s the dark songs during dark times that I obsess over most. I think this is the case for most people. When you’re happy and everything’s great then music is wonderful and indescribably beautiful. But when you’re sobbing, or numb, or both, suicidal, hurting so badly- then music is what saves you. It tells you that you are not alone in this. That it’s fine not to have words for it because sometimes there are no words and then we turn to melodies instead. 

I remember listening to Bowie’s Rock & Roll Suicide on repeat for maybe a week. I loved it all but I listened for Bowie telling me I’m not alone: oh no love you’re not alone/ you’re watching yourself but you’re too unfair/ you’ve got your head all tangled up/ ... oh no love you’re not alone/no matter what or who your name/no matter where or what you’ve seen/ all the knives seem to lacerate your brain/ you’re not alone/ just turn on with me/ you’re not alone/ just turn on and be/ wonderful/ give me your hands/ cause you’re wonderful

I’ve just paused in writing this and made a new playlist: survival songs. They’re songs from years ago, from weeks ago which I’ve listened to which have kept me alive, helped me to survive. So I'm just going to end with this playlist.

Survival songs

Rock & Roll Suicide David Bowie
Another Travellin’ Song Bright Eyes
Horses Cherbourg
Walk Unafraid (R.E.M. cover) First Aid Kit
Into the West Howard Shore & Annie Lennox
Lithium Nirvana
Cold War Janelle Monáe
No Children The Mountain Goats
Serenade Emiliana Torrini
A&E Goldfrapp
I Feel It All Feist
Allie Belle & Sebastian
Both Sides, Now Joni Mitchell
Heal Over KT Tunstall
Little Talks Of Monsters and Men
Harder to Walk These Days Than Run Karine Polwart
Comptine d’Un Autre Été Amélie soundtrack
Don’t Change Your Mind The Broken Family Band
All is Well (Goodbye, Goodbye) Radical Face
Putting The Dog To Sleep The Antlers
Civilian Wye Oak